December 7, 2009

Dear friends and family,

As our family reflects on the last year it is one that has passed too fast. Our children have sprouted and have pushed the limits toward maturity while we reminisce of the days that all they wanted was our attention. It only seems like yesterday that we did our last family newsletter. As in all years this has been one of ups and downs. As a family we celebrate where God has led us and we mourn the loss of an unborn child. We have been blessed in what God has done in us and used us this past year. It is times like this that we are able to reflect and look towards the future.

Sean has finally finished seminary and we were all excited to celebrate his achievement this past May. He is currently going through the final stages of preparing for his first call as a Presbyterian minister. For now he is juggling a bunch of different hats including raising support for development of the Presbytery’s campus ministry at Cal State Channel Islands. He is excited about being done with school and has passed the hat of student to Jenn who has started school this past fall. It definitely is a different experience in switching roles. Jennifer is still working for a Doctor.  She also has started taking some classes to prepare for future enrollment in a nursing program.  She is still selling Pampered Chef and enjoys this as a time to get paid to socialize.

Rianne has made the transition to 6^th grade middle school and is enjoying her time at her new school.  She is excited about the computer lab and has started to try to become the family photographer. We are having a hard time in transitioning to her being in a youth group since that means she is growing up.

Lauren is now in the 5^th grade and has become obsessed with the 50 states and the theme song “Are you smarter than a 5^th grader?”  She loves to cook and is a big help in the kitchen. While she may only be ten she is trying to be a pre-teen before her time.

Hunter is now in preschool and is a Teddy Bear (his class).  For a kid who doesn’t know how to read he can maneuver the computer and internet way too well.  Look soon for a You-tube production from Hunter about Mr. Potato Head as he dreams of being his own director.

In thinking of family highlights what really comes to mind is how “normal” this year has been. God has truly blessed us as we have a wonderful extended family that we feel incredibly close to even though they are 300 miles away. It is that family and friends that keep us grounded no matter how chaotic our lives may seem at times.

Well, that is pretty much our year in a nutshell. Merry Christmas!

Sean, Jennifer, Rianne, Lauren, and Hunter Chow

There were a few peeps that requested that I post my sermon from Word of Life online. Since we don’t record them, I am posting it here. Your only problem is that I do not write it in a manuscript format. Hope you can figure it out.

By Faith…

Hebrews 11

-Today is the first Sunday of Advent

Advent means arrival (preparing for the arrival of Christ)

Hope, love, joy, peace

Today is the candle of HOPE

-With the world the way it is I pray for hope

Hope for peace…

Hope for safety for my family…

Hope for those in difficult situations…

Hope for those suffering through difficult times in Sudan and throughout the world…

But I also have hope that certain individuals can make a difference

-President Obama

- Dali Lama

There is a difference in hoping that something or someone can do something and HAVING FAITH

Hebrews 11 is a chapter that is often called the “Hall of the Faithful”

They are ones that in the midst of the challenges of their lives that HAD FAITH rather than hoping for the best.

The list includes Abel, Enoch, Abraham, Jacob, Rahab, Noah, and more!

Seeing this list not only challenged the readers of Hebrews but me as well.

1. Have FAITH in God not just hope (v.1-2)

¹Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. ²This is what the ancients were commended for.

Faith is the things that we are sure of.

What are those in your life.

Book of Job is interesting

Job is allowed to be tempted by God

Talks throughout about hope.

Hope can be swayed and worn away but faith lasts.

Job 14:18-20

¹⁸ “But as a mountain erodes and crumbles and as a rock is moved from its place, ¹⁹ as water wears away stones and torrents wash away the soil, so you destroy man’s hope.

1. By faith… what are we? (v.7)

⁷By faith Noah, when warned about things not yet seen, in holy fear built an ark to save his family. By his faith he condemned the world and became heir of the righteousness that comes by faith.

Moses was a murder

Afraid of speaking in public

Rahab was a gentile woman

Prostitute

Abraham was told to kill his own son, Lied about Sara being his sister rather than his wife….twice!

Noah (Genesis 6-7) heard a message from God to build an Ark. Spent 120 years doing so and warning others of the upcoming flood.

Had a feeling that he was mocked more than a little bit

If the flood did not come he would have been the laughingstock.

Or called crazy.

SOMETHING IS WRONG WHEN OUR LIVES MAKE SENSE TO UNBELIEVERS.

WHAT ARE YOU TO BE KNOWN FOR?

3. Faith is more than just the good times/ finishing strong (v. 35-38)

³⁵Women received back their dead, raised to life again. Others were tortured and refused to be released, so that they might gain a better resurrection. ³⁶Some faced jeers and flogging, while still others were chained and put in prison.³⁷They were stoned^[f]; they were sawed in two; they were put to death by the sword. They went about in sheepskins and goatskins, destitute, persecuted and mistreated— ³⁸the world was not worthy of them. They wandered in deserts and mountains, and in caves and holes in the ground.

Anyone can have faith in the good times…

But what about when trouble arises?

In marriage and relationships the depth and commitment will be tested in these times

Sure Thanksgiving is all about being thankful for the blessings that you have and for family. I have some great memories of sitting around stuffing myself and watching football. In fact I asked my wife’s parents/ family if I could have her hand in marriage following Thanksgiving Dinner/ Lunch (it was around 2 in the afternoon). But one tradition that I did partake in that will always have a Thanksgiving tone is playing paintball with my brother the next day. Some families had the tradition of playing football… my brother and sometimes Conor would head to Carpet Bob’s Paintball around Napa and run in the mud. Nothing like being covered in mud as you were trying to “mark” others. There is nothing quite like trying to shoot someone with a paintball at 290 feet per second on a cold morning in the rain. Ouch. It was those weekends that developed something fun, that unfortunately I don’t have the time or the body to do anymore. That is travel and play tournament paintball.

Most people really have no idea what was going on in my life during that time. The fun times that we had traveling around and creating chaos in various cities from Lemoore in Central California to Port Orchard, WA to Las Vegas. I miss traveling around originally with Joe, Jason, Paul, Donald, Adam, and Conor. Then it was with Pete, Chad, Francis, Ken, Leo, and a whole host of others. Nights trying to flush huge bags of paintballs that went bad down the toilet at the Silverton (before they upgraded it) to having to deal with sharing a bed with Joe who kicks in his sleep. Or the many times we went to the Excalibur buffet only to remember that we should NEVER GO THERE.

I miss playing five and ten man tournaments in the now defunct Pan Am Circuit and in the NPPL. What I don’t miss is the mountains of dollars that it took to keep the equipment at the edge or the time for practices in smelly out of the way locations.

While I am thankful for the journey in life that I am on, there are somethings that I miss. That being young enough and crazy enough to be involved in the paintball tournament scene during the mid-early days. The days when teams like ours could actually be sponsored before the times of huge conglomerates. What I do miss out of anything is the time spent with the guys whether at practice or just shooting the breeze. Here is a shout out to you all!

I have had the opportunity to do something that we try not to encourage our members to do… that being ‘church shop”. Or the act of checking out what other churches are doing and so forth. In some ways it is pretty cool since I get to see what other churches are doing but at the same time have no intimate contact with a church family. Now that I have been out and about I miss being at a church every Sunday and look forward to that time again.

For the past four weeks I got to be a free agent of sorts as I have made my way through a bunch of different churches. I think a general theme has arisen as I feel that each pastor was talking directly to me. The first week was a visit to the Radiant service at Oxnard First Presbyterian. They were doing Stewardship Sunday and Pastor Ted Brandt was talking about God’s comfort in the midst of suffering. The following week was Pastor Ron Urzua from Word of Life Presbyterian preaching on God’s provision in the midst of difficult times. Last weekend I was at Westminster Presbyterian during their Stewardship Day as Pastor Dan Birchfield talked about the longevity of the church and its legacy, that in the mist of chaos and the economic climate God provides. Last night I was at Glenkirk Presbyterian in Glendora as Pastor Jim Miller talked about the sacrifice that God wants from us and that it is all about finishing well.

Each of the themes of the sermons that I have heard this last month felt like they were meant for me specifically. Is there a conspiracy between the churches where I am going? Or maybe its God speaking? I guess my attitude did not change much after the first time…. or even the second… so apparently I got four sermons to finally get what I was suppose to get. I GOT IT!!!…. I think. That in the midst of the craziness of my life, God is going in front of me and providing, just need to remain faithful.

It is easy to have faith in the good times… character and depth of faith is built during the tough seasons.

Last night I was driving home from training all day at Macy’s and was kinda bumming about even having this job. Not because it is a job (which I am thankful for) but that its not what I am passionate about. Then this song by Bon Jovi came on the radio and was mesmerized by the lyrics as it encouraged those that are going through a tough time. Life will get better it is through the difficult circumstances that we are challenged and shaped.

We Weren’t Born to Follow

This one goes out to the man who mines for miracles
This one goes out to the ones in need
This one goes out to the sinner and the cynical
This ain’t about no apology

We weren’t born to follow, oh yeah
(Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yeah)
We weren’t born to follow, oh yeah
(Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh yeah)

As a person in the midst of transition, it is at a crossroads that I sit. For the past week I have been searching for a job, any job that will somehow supplement the lack of income that my family is facing. With that I have applied for anything from Aflac Insurace to College Enrollment Counselor to manning a register at Macys. What makes this so weird is that maybe I have a contorted view of a job. That maybe its more than earning a paycheck… its ones passion. Its their calling. Is it my calling to sell and offer Macy’s Credit to customers? Uhhh…. I am pretty sure that it is not. I feel that what I do must have a purpose.

Yesterday I got a comment on my facebook page that really bothered me. Not bothered in a bad way but one that challenges who I am. Am I suppose to spend Advent and the holidays worrying about the size on my line at $9 per hour or the real reason that I am called to. “You are going to be a great pastor Sean – and it saddens me that someone of your pastoral talent and giftedness will be standing behind a register and not a pulpit this Christmas season -behind the pulpit it is were you belong without doubt, when will the church wake up and see the gift you will be to the church?!”  That comment made me think… do I push on in developing this ministry or do I sit on it. Sit on it in a time when the momentum is growing and great progress is being made.

Choices are running rampant in my head. In times like this which road do I choose?

A frequent conversation that I have with older adults that have retired is that they tell me that they are busier than they were when they were working. While I have had problems stretching my little brain around that, I have begun to understand what they mean. While I am not “retired” but yet hope to reach that point I am getting an inkling of what they are talking about. No longer am I stuck in an office (figuratively or literally), have to attend staff meetings, put in a requisite amount of time doing “churchy” things, or even have a feeling that I need to work more to earn my pay. Instead this last week has been a blank canvas. Last Saturday when I looked at my calender for the week all there was a meeting at CSUCI on Tuesday and a note that it was the eldest Birthday this week. For a person that is use to juggling seminary, family, and church(s) this is going to take some getting use to.

While Monday might have been a stress case for me since I was literally sitting around and watching the Syfy network and its V: the series marathon. Since then I have begun to get my feet underneath me. Besides becoming the official Chow family taxi for school, youth group, and other events I am definetely re-engaging with the family. If you ask them perhaps I am too much into their business. Oh well… welcome to Dad-have-no-job land.

The best part of all this chaos is that I get to do anything that I want to do and not things that I am obligated to. Last week I have several meetings about Front Porch and its development at CSUCI. Next week we will begin spending time meeting with students and actually DO SOMETHING on campus, rather than simply meeting with churches and casting the vision. If I wanted to (which I plan on doing) is starting some studies on campus and being present for students. Someone that I met with last week said that I could be “the weird Presbyterian prayer guy on campus.” While that may be cool, I am not sure if that is the angle that I am looking for. I have also been tossing around the idea of heading back to the hospital to volunteer as a chaplain.

This blank canvas is an interesting thing. What makes it more interesting is some of the blogs that I read. One of them is the former President of Youth Specialities that was recently laid off. He wrote on some of the things going on in his mind here. I am loving the freedom to do the things that I WANT to do rather than what I am obligated to. I do see how retirement can be a time that is more busy than one is working with the desire to be a part of many things that you have a passion for.

Sooo today was the first day of being “unemployed”. Geesh this is depressing. Let me see what is on TV? Nothing to sooth the soul like V:the Series marathon on Syfy. What is making this so weird is that I am used to being overly busy. With meeting and a To Do List that is endless that suddenly disappeared. Looking at my calender this week I have a webinar and a meeting tomorrow and that ends my scheduled week. That is unless I find something to do.

While I have often dreamed of sitting around and doing nothing, it was not suppose to be like this. Do you wonder what it would be like to wake up and have nothing to do… ITS BORING! In the last week I have run into a bunch of people that I know that are in the same boat as I am in. That is trying to navigate the wonderful world of unemployment and what to do. This is a crazy subculture of the world. While I thought I understood what it is like, I have no idea. The emotional, physical, and spiritual dimensions of unemployment is not very well understood until you are in the unfortunate position.

First off the wonderful world of Unemployment Development Department of the State of California or more commonly know as the Unemployment Insurance. This is what most companies pay into in order for the workers to have some income in the case of being laid off. That is unless you are exempt like many non-profits are (such as clergy). It is a time of waiting to see how much you qualify for and it ranges from $60-450 a week depending on what you previously made. While the application is online, it takes up to ten days with additional week until you get a check. Not to mention the numerous rules it has.

Second… What do you do with all your time? While I am actively pursuing funds to develop Front Porch, what else is there to do. Sure my wife has come up with a great list of things to do, so I am not simply lying around doing nothing. I can see easily how some people fall into a state of depression and not wanting to get out of bed. While I have a family to keep me going there I can honestly feel how some could become overcome with no motivation.

Third… anxiety. Where I am going to get money to pay my bills? Why should I even get a job when unemployment would pay me more? What is going on with my future? Everything at one time or anther has come into question. While it those times of weakness that creeps in and I freak out. The stress level has definitely risen as I have become consumed with micromanagement of our family funds. While we cannot say that we have the perfect marriage I am grateful for a wife and family that is supportive and attempts to deflect many of the feelings that I encounter from time to time.

Through all this and I feeling the need to start or be a part of a support group of some sort. A group that can be a place of support, resource, and encouragement. There is so much that I do know and am sure there are more than a few out there that are lost like I am.

¹When Jesus had called the Twelve together, he gave them power and authority to drive out all demons and to cure diseases, ²and he sent them out to preach the kingdom of God and to heal the sick. ³He told them: “Take nothing for the journey—no staff, no bag, no bread, no money, no extra tunic. ⁴Whatever house you enter, stay there until you leave that town. ⁵If people do not welcome you, shake the dust off your feet when you leave their town, as a testimony against them.” ⁶So they set out and went from village to village, preaching the gospel and healing people everywhere. (Luke 9:1-6)

It is easy to say that we trust or have faith in God. Saying it and living it are two completely different things. The past month has seen me go from two paid positions and one volunteer (with a hope of being paid) to simply the volunteer one. While the volunteer one is one that I am deeply passionate it has been a shake up in reality. How are we suppose to trust that God is going to catch us when we see nothing but the big abyss below. I will be the first to admit that I have had my times lately of self pity. Where I was ready to give it up and be a garbage salesman. Don’t know what that is… neither do I but that is what I clung to. Our nature automatically wants us to give us when our lives are not going our way.

Authentic faith is the basis for our trusting in God. It is by no accident that I was reading Francis Chan’s book Crazy Love this morning that read:

This place of trust isn’t a comfortable place to be; in fact, it flies in the face of everything we’ve been taught about proper planning. we like finding refuge in what we already have rather than in what we hope God will provide. But when Christ says to count the cost of following Him, it means we must surrender everything. It means being willing to go without an extra tunic or a place to sleep at night, and sometimes without knowing where we are going. God wants us to trust Him with abandon. He wants to show us how He works and cares for us. He wants to be our refuge. (p. 123)

Trust requires us to surrender. It means not holding onto our own plans but submitting and believing what God has for us. Though I may not see tangible evidence what is ahead… trust God. In those dark moments or self pity… trust God. In those times of wavering faith… trust God.

The last couple of weeks have been interesting as I have worked on transferring the many tasks and oversight of ministries that I have been involved in for the past three years. This last sunday was my last official sunday at Word of Life. And in all transitional times I am quite reflective on what has happened as well as what I wish had happened. In saying the latter I was thinking of how I wanted to create programs and studies that would better help families. I dreamed of the day that we could offer parenting classes to the community as well as being a supportive community for families. It is not like I am the first one to think about what could have been, especially since the community and has such a need.

Anyways. The last three years have been one that I have had the opportunity to do things that I thought that I would never have the chance to do. When I first came to the church, all I was concerned with was sitting in the back pew. But through my experiences I feel that I am better person. Not only was I encouraged and supported throughout the ordination process but consider many of the people that supported me as family. When the trials and rigors of seminary and life became too much or too stressful there was always someone there to put me back into perspective.

I will always be grateful for the opportunity and freedom that I have had in the past year. With an dedicated team we reinvisioned the church. The last year we got to try a different model than a traditional church. While the results were not as amazing as our heads thought it would be, it was a great experience. The chance to be in a church that is willing to take those leaps of faith is invaluable.

As in everything, good times don’t last forever. What is the future is still very much in the air. For now I will be working on developing the Front Porch ministry of the Presbytery as well as finishing up (hopefully) the ordination process.

Thanks ya’lls for all the support. Not to mention the great spanish lessons and I’ll need to collect on my tattoo hours soon (or maybe not).